New Terriitory

I have been Obese (such an awful word, I actually cringed when I typed that) for almost as long as I can remember. I remember the time I crossed over the line from thinking I was fat to actually being fat. It was the summer between 3rd grade and 4th grade, I was 10. I knew once I started 4th grade that I was really, truly, fat. I have felt and thought I was fat as long as I can remember but I recognized once I was really, truly, overweight that I hadn't been before. Anyway, I'm rambling, I am sure that from 10 years old on I have been classified as "obese". I never weighed myself, let alone kept track of my weight, so I can't be sure of the exact numbers but I do know that when I got my license at 16 my best guess at my weight was 180lbs (but that was underestimating...so who knows what it was). But now, being obese, is part of my past - it is no longer is who I am. I stepped on the scale a couple weeks ago and it put me in new territory (174.5lbs) I was no longer obese, I was Overweight.

I waited a couple of weeks to celebrate this because I wanted to make sure it stuck before I wrote this post. As of this morning I am at 166.5lbs and figured I was in the clear to call myself overweight. I know I'm not supposed to care too much about the BMI but I do. I love being able to say overweight instead of obese. I LOVE that I finally weight much less than my husband. I love that I don't feel as embarrassed to be out in public like I used to. I love that Olivia could fit on my lap on the haunted mansion ride at Disneyland and when the bar came down it didn't crush her (and it was close, so I know that probably just 3 or 4 months ago we wouldn't have fit together). This is totally worth it. Waking up at 4am to exercise, measuring and keeping track of all food, giving up soda, Starbucks, and juice - all of this is worth it in the end. This feeling. The happiness of knowing I am close to my goal and I am a healthier mother who has the energy for my daughter. She will never have a memory of me as obese because I will never let myself get back there. This is the new me and I keeping it.