I am running out of steam. I no longer am enjoying the diet part of my lifestyle change, not that I ever was really, but I am feeling a definite lack of energy towards eating better. I am just going through the motions during the week. I eat almost the same thing day in and day out and then on the weekends I cheat a little - EVERY weekend for the last 3 weeks. I am doing OK weight wise, OK because I am not consistently gaining weight - I gain weight every weekend and then lose it during the week.
I have stopped caring to dress nice or wear makeup or do my hair. Today is the day of the week where I have to go into the actual office instead of telecommuting like every other day of the week. Until this week, even though I dreaded actually being in the office, I enjoyed getting ready and dressing in some of my nicer clothes, putting on make up & doing my hair. I had no such desire this morning. I pulled my wet hair back in a clip, my face is clear of make up, and I am wearing khakis Capri's (no jeans only because they are not allowed) and a sweater. I am not feeling it. Maybe I should have forced myself to put the effort in when getting ready, maybe I would feel better right now. Maybe I am feeling some winter blues even though it is only November and I live in Phoenix where the days are sunny and the highs are in the 70s.
All I know is I feel blue, not quite depressed, but just down....maybe its just hormones, maybe its the bad eating every weekend, but probably its just reality that losing 94lbs is awesome but for some reason also a little disconcerting. I look like a different person, but I'm not - and its hard to adjust to what almost feels like a stranger staring back at me in the mirror. Sometimes I miss the old me, not the way I looked, but I knew that person and was that person for many years thats who I feel like I am. I haven't adjusted to the weight loss mentally. I am not explaining this well, so I will just leave it at this - I am feeling out blue.
4 comments:
Maybe changes are just hard?
I don't have any solutions, just that I sympathize, and I hope you feel better soon. Maybe it's just a temporary little dip in the mood.
But hey, you have this weekend to look forward to!! It should be a nice break, right??
Change is hard! When I lost all my weight a few years ago, I hit my lowest point emotionally. Once the weight is gone, you end up having to deal with all those other issues the weight hid...figuring out who in the heck you are now...etc. I wasn't ready and let the pounds come back on. Wish I had some good advice, but just keep on making the good actions, and your steam will come back soon enough.
we all have those downer times. mine are usually hormonal, but i don't realize it until something shows up (wink, wink). but really...sticking so consistently to one eating regimen or another, is HARD. it gets OLD. i totally understand that. just remember where you've been, be grateful you're not there anymore...and remember that you never want that again. it's WORTH it.
Sounds hormonal to me too. Hang in there. The clouds will lift soon and you will feel better. Going through the motions is better than stopping all together. Try a pamper day for yourself. A long bath and a pedicure help me to reset.
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