Clothing Dilemma

Last week I had a day of super motivation. This means I was itching to get things done in my house. I cleaned the fridge (pulled everything out and scrubbed the inside down) and tackled my closet, which was a huge undertaking. Before I got married and had to Share things, like my closet, I was pretty organized. Everything had a place and was usually put back in that place. I am not sure why having someone else in my space sort of ruined that, but it did. And it BUGGED me. Our closet was a disaster. I hated having to go in there to find clothes and even worse, it made laundry an unbearable task. I could never find enough hangers, or space for my clothes. As much as it drove me nuts I wasn't really sure how to deal with it. I had a TON of clothes in there and just not enough space.

This is why it took me a year after we moved in to organize the closet - I had to be willing to part with some of my clothes. Getting rid of bigger clothes is really hard and its even harder to admit that its because I think a big part of me thinks I am going to fail and need the big sizes again. Even now, 9 months into my journey, longer than I have ever made it, I am still afraid. But it was time to let go of that fear, to not have the crutch of bigger clothes. So if I do fall of the wagon and gain 10 lbs I won't have a bigger size on hand to wear and hopefully I will get back on track fast because I HATE buying bigger sizes. All these years and through all the diets I have always kept the bigger sizes, just in case, and I ended up using them. Not this time. I went through the closet with a vengeance and got rid of a least a third of my clothing that no longer fits. This is about a quarter of the clothes I got rid of:

Although to be perfectly honest, I did box up two boxes of bigger clothes that I might be able to wear next time I am pregnant (some maternity, some just big sizes). Therein lies the dilemma. Having these clothes saved for being pregnant one more time makes sense financially, but am I using them still as a crutch? Knowing they are in there? I'm not sure and if I ever consider breaking out that box while not pregnant I hope I have the courage to get rid of those boxes and lose the weight I have gained to fit in my regular clothes.