Back to business

I started this blog for a place to express my feelings and document my weight loss, for me. The blog stopped being fun when I started caring if people were reading. If I gained 3lbs who wants to read about that? So I stopped writing. 2011 was an awesome year if I am measuring happiness outside of how many pounds I gained/lost.

I started the year by running my first half marathon and followed it with two more. I ran an overnight 200 mile relay with 11 other people and I enjoyed it so much that I ran it again a couple of weeks ago with a team of complete strangers. That was huge for me. Not only did I run the most miles I have ever run in a 24 hour period (18.2 - with about 11 of those uphill) but I did it with people that I have never met before. I am a pretty shy person and was sick to my stomach worried about how I would get along with everyone but I wanted to do something that makes me uncomfortable - pushes me to experience new things. That's me and my team below:

But with the good comes the not so good. I gained 25 lbs from my lowest weight that I reached in 2010. What bugs me about that the most is how close I got to my goal and never got there. Its a lingering disappointment in myself. One that I am going to do my darnedest to change. I am starting to write here again simply to keep track of how I am doing and sort of keep tabs on myself throughout the journey. I love going back and re-reading some of my early posts to see how far I have come, it helps me when I feel like a failure. So here it is, the goals I have set for myself:

• Run a half marathon at 2 hr or under: This will require I shave off 18 minutes off of my PR but I think I can do it. I signed up for the Disneyland half marathon September 1st so I have 6 months to get ready.
 
• Lose 30lbs by the Disneyland half marathon: This timeline is simply in place because I think it will help me reach the above goal

If I don't reach these goals I am not going to let it get me down as long as I know I have given it my all to achieve them. I am done feeling like a failure, as long as I am trying my best and making good decisions every day then I am a success.

3 days and feeling good

My anxiety about the race is slowly changing into excitement, I work up this morning totally jazzed about running a half marathon. I have been getting down about myself lately. I am always thinking that I could be doing better and, of course, I could be. Unless I all of a sudden become perfect there is always room for improvement, but as long as I am trying to do better then I am on the right track. This time last year I as I was just discovering weight loss blogs I remember thinking maybe one day I would try to run/walk a 5k but that running 13.1 miles was insane and I would never being able to run that far, nor would I even want to try....it just seemed to far out there. Its thoughts like this that I need to keep reminding myself about, because there are times when I feel like a teeny bit of a failure for not doing more, like running the marathon. For example, this conversation has happened with many people:

Them: "you're running the Rock N Roll marathon?"
Me: "No, just the Half - Marathon"
Them: "wow, that's awesome"
Me: "Yeah, but its just the half"

Arrgg...Just typing that makes me annoyed at myself. It must be sooo annoying to talk to me because I am such a downer. Why not just say - "yeah, I am running the half marathon and I am so excited!!" Instead I am such a negative nelly. Anyway, my point is - I need to recognize how far I've come and what an accomplishment this is for me. I write about this a lot on this blog - recognizing the accomplishments I've made and it isn't fishing for compliments or praise, I really, truly, tend to feel like everything I do isn't good enough and its time to figure how to move past that and be happy for me. Anyway...check in for today:


Calories Consumed yesterday: 1559
Calories Consumed so far today: 1,044 (a little high, but all I have left today is dinner)

Exercise Yesterday: Stationary Bike for 50 minutes and 4 mile outdoor bike ride with Olivia

Current Weight: 157.5
Lbs to Goal: 32.5

This check in thing is actually really helping me...if I haven't entered my food in my food diary by the time I post my blog and go and enter it and it helps keep my dinner calorie in check so I don't get too off track for the day!

4 days....

Till the half marathon. As I was riding my bike today and it was kicking my butt, I had to keep reminding myself that biking muscles are different than running ones, right? My nerves are actually slightly less than they were a week ago. I downloaded some new songs for my iPod just to keep me going during the race - even though it's a rock and rock marathon and there are bands every half mile I think I just might need some loud music in my ears to keep me going, maybe not, but I want to be prepared either way. I got a new running outfit to get me even more excited to run the 13.1 miles. So shopping wise I am ready :) I still need to figure out if I am going to eat before or if I am going the GU route (ewwww...). I don't really want to stop at the many port a pottys that are supposed to be set up along the course and I thinking GU instead of actual food might be my best bet. Seriously something I have never thought about too much before is how much needing a bathroom while running would occupy my thoughts and is really what makes me the most worried about running races - TMI? Probably
. Sorry :) anyway, on to my check in for today....

Calories consumed yesterday: 1648
Calories consumed so far today: 998

Exercise yesterday: 3 mile run

Current weight: 160
Lbs to goal: 35

Running Maddness

I am basically finished with the Ragnar training program that I started a while ago even though the race is not until February. I started early because I wanted to make sure I could actually handle something like the Ragnar way before the week of the actual race, plus it gave me structure to my workouts and something to stick to - that I like. But I found myself this past week worried about what I should do next. After the 10k and how well it went I thought it was time to go on to the next challenge: A Half Marathon. The PF Changs Marathon/Half Marathon is in January, so a month before the Ragnar Relay. I have been hemming and hawing over tackling this for the past couple of months, I have even gone as far as to tell people I will probably do it. Here's the problem with probably its not gonna kick my butt out of bed at 3:30 in the morning to run. Paying $124 to run a half marathon? I think so. So that's what I did. I stopped being wishy-washing about this and paid the money, it was hard because it was a lot of money, but that's the point right? No turning back now (its non-refundable). I am actually excited about this. Something to get myself through the holidays. I even selected MEDIUM for my shirt size, I can't remember the last time I wore a size medium of anything (literally cannot remember). So I'm gonna keep on trucking with my running (and working because these race entries fees are expensive) and one day wake up a Runner!